All the way light

Mother’s Day is coming.   My eyes returned to the plateau again. At this point, the wheat there should be ripe. Under the clear sky in May, the village is serene and the trees are verdant.. The majestic Mount Wumeng once again shows spectacular vitality. Under an unknown mountain range, by a brook where Xia Dong has been singing songs in the spring and autumn, in the harvest fields, in the rosy dusk, I can imagine that my mother, with her hands full of years of vicissitudes, has carried back a bit of sunset..   I haven’t seen my mother for a long time. I miss her.   I don’t know how much heart she had for her sick child, how much tears she shed and how much suffering she suffered.. All I know is that on the phone, I always hear her say that I can’t sleep and eat at the thought of you.. As a son, as a child who lives thousands of miles away from school and suffers from illness, I can’t let my mother not worry about it. Although I explained to her in every possible way that I would take good care of myself and I would be well, she just couldn’t let go of her heart and was still worried.   Mother is already old and can’t stand too much tossing and turning. But I unwillingly let her not rest.   In September last year, I found out that I had lung disease and had water accumulated in my chest. I had to have an operation immediately.. I wanted to hide from my mother and not let her know, but the news of the illness still reached her ears. On the phone, I could hear her worried worries. I could have chosen to have surgery in Wuhan, but my mother did not trust me to be alone outside and insisted that I go home for treatment.. She said, I will not be at ease until I see you with my own eyes. In the end, I chose to go home for treatment. The time in the hospital was the darkest day in the mother’s life. Her lively son was suddenly declared seriously ill, and it was only after the operation that it became clear what was going on that she was naturally worried.. She doesn’t know if her son will survive, and I try to tell her I’m fine, but her hidden worries have not been dispelled at all.. On the day of my operation, my mother did not dare to look at the scene. She hid in the other side and wept secretly.. After the operation, I passed through a brief coma. During that time, I didn’t know how my mother survived the anxiety.. I secretly looked at her sad face in the hospital bed: the clouds locked her brow deeply, the muscles on her face twitched heavily because of excessive tension, and the originally bright eyes looked dim and dim because of my illness.. In those days, my mother was always fidgeting in the ward and never left my drip bottle for a moment.. My illness has tortured my mother like this!   It is unacceptable that a boy suddenly became seriously ill at his frivolous age. In the days of illness, my mood was very bad. I even abandoned myself and wanted to leave what I thought was an inhumane place called a hospital. My brother and sister were very impatient with my hot temper. Only my mother looked at me silently and accepted my unreasonable noise silently.. Now that I think about it, how naive and capricious I am. My illness has made her very demanding, and I also vent some minor complaints. Wouldn’t it make her more sad?? I confess to my ignorance. During those days, my mother was always by my side. After running, she didn’t have a good rest or a good night’s sleep. She only had a simple and honest belief that she wanted her son to recover quickly and get better quickly.. And she herself, because of the torture of the raid, has obviously added a lot of white hair..   I have not tortured my mother once.   I don’t know why my life has so many twists and turns. And the mother, at the same time, is destined to bear more than the average mother. As early as two years ago, I began to torture her. That year, I was admitted to a university in the north. I reported for admission and started school for more than two months. I should have stabilized by rights, but my heart did not recognize the beautiful coastal city in the north. I thought in my mind every day how to escape.. Escaping means dropping out of school. I was so conscientious and did not hesitate to make a plan to drop out of school.. I didn’t think about the feelings of my family, especially my mother.. My mother was very calm when she heard that I was going to drop out of school. She just said she would come back if she wanted to, but I don’t know what kind of calm she used to suppress the shock waves in her heart.. The operation that I dropped out of school was not very smooth. It took me more than a month to go back and forth. During this month, my mother didn’t sleep well. She was afraid that I was in a foreign country and couldn’t find a place to live.. She worried that I could not eat well or sleep well, and even more worried that I couldn’t think of it and did foolish things.. That now want to still so lonely evening, I get up the courage of 12 points, knocked on the door of the stranger. Mother cried. She insisted that her son was thinner and smaller. She even blamed her brother and sister for not taking him home quickly.. With a guilty mind, I accepted the food my mother put into her rice bowl with big chopsticks. I couldn’t help tears running down my face..   Because of my self – assertion, my relationship with my family was once very stiff after I dropped out of school..Mother can’t help it. She can’t reconcile the contradictions among intellectuals. She has only one strength to protect me.. After dropping out of school, I chose to go back to school again for six months. I didn’t go home once. My mother missed me, came to see me in the city, took eggs and fruits, and inquired about my cram school until she met a person of hometown who knew me, and the client took her to find me. My mother said that she could have a good sleep after looking at me.. I don’t know how many ways the mother took to find her son, and how many people she asked, she insisted on finding her child out of the crowd with a mother’s persistence or stubbornness.! I choked back tears and chose silence under the sky in April.   Over the years, my mother and I have always been together.   Every time I leave home, my mother always sends me. For several years, year after year. And I, the most afraid of seeing, the most unforgettable thing is her limping back. Every time, she insisted on sending me to the station. Often, I will leave the next day, and she will get up very early, prepare my luggage and cook a practical meal for me.. When she’s finished, she won’t eat, just watching me eat, and she’ll send the child out of the house. She said she can’t eat. On the way, I walked in front, she followed behind, not asking, not telling, until I got in the car, she could no longer see, and then turned back..   This spring just past, I’m coming to Wuhan. After my mother sent me to the bus, I saw her turn around and cover her eyes and return to the original road with heavy steps and even some confusion.. I know that she will worry about her distant son again. I wanted to stop her before the car left, but I knew it would hurt her even more. Through the window, I silently watched her enter the depths of pear blossom. My nose is sour and tears wet my eyes again. At that time, I deeply realized that a mother sent her son thousands of miles away without giving up and worrying.   In my memory, my mother is the most bitter person in my family. When I was a child, I woke up in the middle of the night and saw my mother busy under the light. After getting up in the morning, she saw her, either in the courtyard or in the house, and she was already doing something.. Five or six members of the family, as well as other livestock, have to be attended by her. She didn’t spend a day at leisure.   Every time I leave home over the years, there is always a busy mother under the lights. That has become a unique landscape in my life. I can’t forget and remember for a long time. This is for sure and necessary. The lights along the way have accompanied me through the waters of Qian Shan and through many reefs and dangerous beaches. Today, they are still bright and warm to me, a wandering heart..   Mother’s Day is coming and I look out to the plateau. I know my mother. She’s looking at me, too. I want to accompany her in the wheat fields of her childhood, to go to the tall cherry tree and pick a few big, red cherries, to quietly put them into her mother’s hand with the innocent eyes of her childhood, and tell her that this is her love and fruit! Her son will be back soon, dear mother, take good care of yourself.   One day, I believe that I will let mother’s smile and heart bloom in the familiar light. On that day, I no longer drift, but guard beside her. On that day, there was a beautiful name: Mother’s Day. At that time, many beautiful memories were found in the fields where mother worked.. At that time, I will become more mature, wise and responsible. I will use my young body to support the vigorous sunset.   Mother’s Day is coming. As a child, I shouted to mountains, rivers and mountains: Mom, I love you! Take care! I’m sure you can hear your son’s thoughts and wishes thousands of miles away. Your son, he will live well for you!   Mother, please accept my highest salute!

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